ok its been waaay longer than i promised! :(

Ok a lot of things have been going on but all little things that i havent take time to mention. However i have an answer to pray as of today! :) a while back i blogged about the lower ack pain i have been having and my fears in relation to that. Well a week or two back i finally saw a doctor about it after putting it off for two + years. Anywho he confirmed that i did have a minor case of scoliosis but that it really wasn't anything to be conserned about. The main problem however he suspected was muscular not bone and rather that prescribe me a bunch of expensive bad medications or expensive MRIs and x-rays he sent me a to a therepist. Yes i had my doubts about all of this, major dubts in fact. However my first appointment was today and i really like my therepist. Finally i feel as if i have been given answers! :) She explained this mush better than i am about to but she believes that i have a loose disk that is moving and slightly popping out of place and then slipping back in again when i move certain ways and such. Which makes perfect sense with my simptoms and pain. Long story short she is thinking it is going to take only about a month of therepy and back strengthening excersises to train my back to work correctly! So new prayer request. :) That i would have self-discipline to faithfully do my daily excersises and that this therepy would be the solution. Thanks :)

short update :)

If indeed anything conversationally is short with me. :) honestly i feel bad for not blogging in forever and have soooo much i wish to write however i lack the time to say it all. I hope to write in full my thoughts very soon but for now will basically say hi and let you all know im still on the planet. :)
I have been working 10 hr shifts this last week and will again next week but its really not so bad. I am realizing that God has put me in the sterile room for very specific and good reasons. :) He does know best as always. You see, i am discovering that the sterile room is the one extremely busy room on the floor. Because it takes so much longer to pack the implants than to clean them or anything else everything stock piles up in our room and we get stuck with a LOT of overtime and steady work while other temps are getting laid off for lack of work or fired i have a fair amount of job security PLUS overtime pay which really benefits the bill pay. :) My God is sooo good and i thank Him for this job He has blessed me with daily. Plus i am in the one truly air conditioned and super clean room in the factory! :) WIN!
Ok enough about boring work. lol I have seen some incredible sunrises this last week! Two to be precise! And when i say Incredible i mean womatic (which means beyond amazing)! I know i talk about sunrises a lot but i really think God speaks to my heart in a very special and unique way through them! I could go on and on about them down to the last detail but i promised to try and keep this short. So alas something must get cut of and i fear it is the sunrises. :(
Anywho... i have deeper thoughts and and spiritual growths/realizations to share that will simply have to wait for the next blog when i can give them proper time and thought. For now i simply must go to bed. so good night all and God bless!

The truth is.....

The truth is a lot of things..... But of all of the things that it is, most of all it is that i am an impatient person. The truth is that i have pushed my whole life for tomorrow instead of enjoying today. I have daydreamed, fantasized, longed-for, prepared for and consumed my entire energy in what tomorrow will be. Well.... the truth is also that i am finally tired, so so very tired of missing out on today and what God has for me in this immediate season of my life. I reached the climax this last Sunday during the sermon. The funny truth of it is that i don't remember a blessed thing he said, i only remember what it triggered inside of me. And that is the great need for a drastic change. So why am i telling the whole world my confessions? Because i believe that change lasts through accountability. Because we are all made stronger through the prayers and petitions made on our behalf by our brothers and sisters in Christ. Everyone has a breaking point for everything. I have finally reached that breaking point! Does this mean that i will be perfectly patient in all things from here on out? Of course not! It means i will not feed the impatience and daydreaming. That i will make continuous hard efforts with God's help to overcome this discontentment. I am a very driven, determined person when i reach that point that drives me to be. Last summer during an unusually large amount of stress and emotional upset i felt driven to pick up smoking again. The particularly disgusting addiction i picked up the year before and had somewhat quit. However after a week or two of smoking again and despising myself for it i reached that breaking point. So with the accountability of close friends i truly quit and haven't smoked once since then even though i have been sorely tempted too many times to count. I have stayed strong for nine months now and don't plan on turning back ever. What was the difference between the first time i "quit" and the final time? That breaking point that drove me to seek God, accountability and sheer determination. All of this to say that the truth is... i see no difference between quiting smoking and quitting impatience and discontentment. Please pray that God would teach me how to be content and patient. I am finally ready to learn.

i believe that Conglomerate is the adequate word for this post :)

At long last spring has sprung from the icy, death-like grip of winter! Finally my very least two favorite months of the entire year(Feb. and march) are coming to a fast close and my very very VERY favorite two months of the whole wide year(May and June) are just around the corner!!! As always with spring comes an unexplainable excitement to the air! Anything can happen and everything is starting new and fresh! :) And flowers are almost here!!!! look out your window!!!! as i write this very moment green shoots and buds are coming out of hiding! Just think of it! in less than a month all sorts of glorious colors that only My God could design will be bursting forth!!!!! In case you cant tell I LOVE late spring and early summer!!! :) Well not wanting to save the less exciting news for the end i will squish it into the middle really quick. Please pray for me right now that God would give me wisdom for decision making and courage to take the correct action. About three years ago i fells a weird little pop when i picked up a day camper but didn't think much of it. However since then i have been experiencing increasing amounts of pain and physical limitations because of it. I have gone to a chiropractor but she was unable to help me at all and diagnosed me with minor scoliosis of the lower spine. However i have been researching my symptoms and it looks very much like i might have a bulging disc. :( Whatever the case is, I'm trying to decide if i need to get it looked at but am afraid the doctors will get carried away with many expensive tests. Also if i need a surgery for it i have no sick leave of vacation from work at all due to still working through the temp agency. In short there are many unknowns and i am just plain afraid. Please pray for God's very special wisdom and guidance in this matter. Thank you brothers and sisters :) Now back to happier things! :D I heard a wonderful sermon at church today from our guest speaker! He spoke on the book of Jonah and never have i heard a sermon or lesson or anything in witch neither Jonah nor the fish were the main topic of discussion! Instead God and how He guides His plans no matter what we do was the main topic! That we as Christians need to be faithful to whatever God calls us to and to boldly go about the work that God has for us. And what kind of testimony are we silently giving through our actions and obedience or disobedience. (I'm doing a terrible job of doing the sermon justice and properly summing it up) However it really was a fantastic and inspiring sermon! Well i think that is all the big stuff i have for you now. Nothing left but random one sentence tid-bits that i will save for personal conversations. :) Praying for you and looking forward to hearing from you all! Thanks for taking the time to read this. Have a blessed week!

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can,
but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

This song is how i feel and where i am at.
my heart is not broken it is bruised and sore. I do not fully understand the depths of this feeling or where it has arisen from. Who can fully understand the depths of a womens heart? Not even the women herself! God alone can! And it is God who will get me through whatever this is that plagues me so. I dont know if i will ever know or understand so dont ask me about this. Just pray that God would continue to teach me the things i need to learn and that i would be a teachable student. My heart is physcally sore but i will laugh again. God is indeed good! i do not say this lightly or from habit!

Its been a while...

So i used to have the problem of what to write about rather then when to write, however it seems i now always have plenty to write about but no time to write it all down. sigh... Life will always have its little problems will it not? The answer lies not with how to get rid of the problems but rather how to deal with them as they arise. hmmmm.... When and if i ever get good at following that advise i will let you all know. :)
I have now been working at Biomet for a whole month now! My goodness the time sure does pass sooo quickly! I still enjoy my work and while it's true that it is not the best job in the world nor my favorite it is a very good job and i am soooo thankful to God for graciously and lovingly providing it for me. God is good to me!
Spring is finally coming!!! I am soooo very excited for the warm weather and earlier sunrises! :) Summer is my very very favorite season of the year and finally it is just around the corner! :D As i drive to work each morning at 6:30 i always head east and am newly being greeted by the first rays of early morning light! God leaves me in rapture at His beauty displayed through creation! I think i am convinced that there is hardly anything more beautiful and energizing than a sunrise. And i am not talking about the last 10 min of it at 8 am i am talking about the dark blue night slowly fading to light blue on one side of the sky while the west is still cloaked in darkness. Then the blue turns into pinks and purple shades. Every minute the colors literally change! Then the very first rays of gold creep up from the horizon and the world begins to sparkle! The birds begin to sing and you feel as if no one else is on earth! It is just you and God! Yes, i believe that sunrise is indeed the most beautiful time of the day and the most beautiful place on earth! It is well worth getting up to see some day! Try it sometime! Get up before the crack of dawn (literally lol) and find somewhere you can simply watch it from begging to end. :) each one is different from the previous day!
Isn't life funny? One day you can be crying your eyes out feeling as if there is no way you can ever endure one more day of the task at hand and then the next you can be filled with joy and actually being an encouragement to someone else! God seems to know the perfect amount of what we need and when. He never gives us more than we can handle (even if it feels like it sometimes). My God is good and perfect! Yes, i still find myself needing to be reminded of that often.
I was recently asked the question, has outfitters effected your life and if so how? It is a question i have actually asked myself many times and already knew the answer to. In answer to the first part of the question, has outfitters effected my life i have to give a resounding Yes! In answer to the second part the answer is a bit longer. I believe that the outfitter program is what God used to build my Christian foundation for the rest of my life! yes i have been saved since a small child but i have not truly lived like it until the summer i turned 19. That summer God moved in my life and convicted my of many things, i finally listened and fully gave my life to Him for the first time. Then i went to college for a year and though i learned much i sadly slumped back a bit in my zeal for change that i had obtained that summer. There was so much about my life and the way i thought and spoke and treated people that needed to change that i was oblivious to. Then God brought me into outfitters and used that year and Trevor and Laurie Wickes and Mindy Hamilton specifically to show me many things that needed changing. But They didn't leave it at showing me what was wrong with me as so often had been the case in my life but rather how to change as well! Through example they showed me what living for God can look like! Their attitudes were infectious! I have discovered that once you taste the true goodness of living inside of God's will and favor a true obedient child of Him you don't even want to go back to the way life was before. And don't get the wrong idea, it wasn't those people themselves but God using them in my life! No i did not change overnight or even quickly for that matter. It was definitely a long process that took the whole year and is still taking place even! In the course of outfitters i was rebuked, called out on things, confronted, disciplined, prayed for, helped, lead by the hand and most of all truly loved! I was taught things of the Bible and how to study it for myself, i was given the tools to go out in the world and follow Christ on my own and seek Him personally. I was asked to define my worldview, to write out my whole testimony, to establish my faith as my own. I was not so much taught but more shown the importance of seeking God on a daily basis personally and what that does for us spiritually. In the course of a year God used the outfitters to help me establish a very personal and strong foundation on Him that will last me a lifetime! I am so thankful for such an opportunity to do that! The next question that naturally arises to my brain is what next? Now that outfitters is over for me what is next in my life? I laugh that i have only just now fully realized the answer to that question! :D Well i have a foundation so the obvious answer would be to build the house! Then of course it needs to be furnished, and landscaped....etc! God is not finished with me yet! I am excited to see what kind of house He desires to build on this foundation that He has established within my heart! :)

God really takes such good care of me!

It's true, i was unmistakably reminded this morning of how good of a caretaker my God is. Last night i was Marathoning the 1st season of NCIS with my mom that we had just gotten. Being very tired i decided to "rest my eyes" ...... well we all know how that ends. :) sure enough i fell asleep and not just asleep I'm talking about knocked out, dead to the world, gone!!!! Apparently i was more tired than i expected. Getting to the point though, i was never woken up and had no alarms set. The next thing i know i wake up with a start , still on the couch everything is dark and quiet and i am very disoriented but feeling rested and awake. That's right i slept there all night and woke up the next morning! However i had to be to work at 7 today and i ran to the nearest clock holding my breath..... i look and it is 6 o'clock on the nose!!!!! The exact time at which i have to get up every day! God was my alarm clock and woke me up to the second of when i needed to be awake and i felt fully rested! My God is good to me! I love seeing evidence of God in my life!!!! I don't deserve the things God does for me and yet He does them because He loves me!!! and i love Him! It's these little things that daily remind me of God's goodness!!!

So much is always happening!

it seems like i can't keep up on this blog with the events that are taking place in my life! God IS good! As many of you know my now i have been able to quit my part-time job at Menards in exchange for a full-time job at Biomet. (its is an orthopedic company) Almost thirty years ago my dad walked in and was hired without and application as a part time janitor. Over the years God blessed him enormously and he has now risen to and engineer as well as head of the intern program they run for the hip department! Now I have been blessed to follow for a little while in my father's footsteps and work for the same company that he has for so many years. I too had the unique opportunity of being hired without an application or interview! God works in wonderous ways! I am continually discovering things i greatly enjoy about my new occupation. For example my job is very important (unlike my retail job). It feels good to have a job that is needed. That people's lives truly depend on how good of a job i do! Its intense and challenging and i really like the challenge! :) In case you do not know i work in the sterill room in the packaging dapartment. Yes, this means that i have to suit up every time i go in there! lol I have to were 2 white puffy hair nets, (the first just covers my hair and the second covers my whole head and down to the bottom of my neck!) then i put on a lab coat that comes to my anckles almost, next i sit on a bench that divides the room, put one booty shoe cover thing on swing my leg over then the same to the next leg. my show cant touch one side of the floor and my covered shoe cant touch the other side of the floor!!! Then i wash my hands for so many seconds in special soap and air dry, then lotionize with special lotion, then put on cotton glove liners, THEN put on rubber gloves up over top of the cuffs of my coat!!! Then in case that wasn't enough i have to rub alcohole on my gloves! this is about a 10 to 15 minute process i do 4 times a day! lol The cleanest factory job ever! lol Those of you who know me may also know that i have never been one to be super maticulous however i am very quickly learning to be so! As i said before lives litterally depend on how good of a job i do. This is because i am the last person to touch the implant before the doctor put it in the patient! I inspect the implant and paper work then double seal it in foam and plastic containers then pass it on to the next department who actually mails it to the hospital. Although my job can be seen as boring i really am enjoying it so far! I hope i havent borred you all with such detailed accounts of my work but i wanted to better explain it for some of you that have asked.
I am still working at the Y but have dropped down to about six hours a week of lifegaurding instead. Which brings me to my biggest prayer request right now, my boss at the Y. It has become a very strenuous relationship and difficult environment to work in. I hope to work things out soon but am a little short on a hope of a good outcome right now. Please pray that we could work out the problems and God would receive the glory of it and that i would really learn the lessons that He is trying to teach me through this. My biggest temptation right now is to just quit! however that is not the best option. :( Yes i am stuggling with patience among other things! Can you tell? lol
Well the weather is starting to warm up! I am soooo excited as i am getting spring fever! Sunday it was actually warm enough to wash my car and vacuum out the inside! it needed it soooo badly! Such a good felling to have a clean car again!
Ok i have written quite enough for one post and will write more later as i think of other things. :) Praying for you!

WOW!

It hasnt been long since i last blogged however soooo much has happened that it feels life its been forever! I will try not to miss anything.
ok so like a week ago not even i have my dad hand my resume into Biomet (which is where he works) not thinking much will happen but wanting to find full time job that pays better than my current job at menards. With low expectations and huge prayers i wait to hear back from Biomet. A few days later i get a call from Biomet saying that they only hire through peoplelink so can i show up Friday at 10 at peoplelink to fill out an application? Also can i be ready to take a drug test and bring proof of identity!? Of course i said YES I CAN!!!! Thank you Lord! So i worked my last day at menards today and i start 1st shift! in the packaging dapartment at Biomet on Monday at 7 am. I laugh now because a few short months ago i would of thought it sooo early to have to wake up at 6 am every day but after months of 4 am for menards this is sleeping in!!!! The benefits are huge for me to switch jobs! Full time work, better pay, closer to home, less or no double trips to town for two jobs so save a lot in gas, once i get hired direct i am elegible for benefits, steady job that i can hopefully work up in, paid holidays, not retail :), no customers to deal with, more comfortable easier dress code that i dont have to buy special clothing for, ........ i think you get the point that i am going to like it here over menards! :) I have God to thank for this job because He definatly did not have to give it to me but He chose to out of His grace and love! Thank you God!!!!!
so in my previous post i told how i got stuck in the ditch when the roads were bone dry. Well i have decided i simply got a step ahead of the blizzard that came a few days later! lol Which i have been doing some thinking about that off road expirience i had and realized some things God showed me through it. One of those things was how much i lack in trusting God to protect me and how fearful i really am!!!!! I have never believed that i struggled with fear! That if i was ever in grave danger it would be nothing because i know that God will keep me safe. Well it funny how fast all of that head knowledge flys out the window the second your put into that real situation! Thats right the second i realized i was completely stuck in the ditch and could do nothing to get myself out that i had absolutly NO control i started freaking out in my head!!! it was the most rediculous i have ever felt in my life! I felt so hepless, alone, and afraid. i was convinced that some creeper was going to find me and smash my car and kidnap me!( this is a little embarrassing to admit but its what i first thought of!) When i was most afraid i trusted God the least! What a terrrible feeling. To have the head knowledge but not be able to have you heart follow what you tell it to! Suddenly i could barelly quote my favorite verse since childhood which is Isaiah 41:10. "So do not fear for i am with you, do not be afraid for i am your God, i will help you, i will strengthen you, i will uphold you with my righteous right hand." However no one kidnapped me and after what seemed like an hour lol help arrived and i really dont think help had ever looked so good in all my life! lol Yes, God showed me that i failed to completely trust him in even the smallest of troubles! How sad! Lord i pray that you would enable me to trust you completely in all things in life, not just the easy stuff that doesn't take much faith! increase my faith Lord! Thank you!
Well i think i hit the major major stuff and i will just have to write again soon if i remember anything i forget. :) God is doing great things in my life! Thank you for your continued prayers! they are blessing! :) Miss you all!

What a weekend!

So there is this new song on the radio that pretty much describes my life right now. It's "This is the Stuff" by Francesca Battistelli.

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please
Cause I can't find my phone

(CHORUS)This is the stuff
That drives me crazy
This is the stuff
That's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff
That gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust
You know exactly what Your doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines
While I'm running behind
(CHORUS)To break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world...

This is the stuff
That drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff
That gets under my skin
But I've gotta trust
You know exactly what Your doing
Might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

yes God has definitely been working on teaching me patience, conquering my frustrations, and yes the one we all love best, humility. :) Suddenly i seem to attract slow drivers, crazy drivers, long long long slow slow slow trains (no exaggeration!) and a host of other random little every-day things that He loves to use for lessons. :) Then to top it off i had a crazy day yesterday.
I had just spent and awesome weekend at camp and was on my way home. However i had decided to go to evening church up there and not want to to back-track to my usual route home asked for the quickest route home from church. well I'm not 5 minutes on the road when suspecting that i missed one of my turns in the dark i decide to turn around. We i swear it looked like a parking lot!!! It was an open space in front of a building lit up with lights and fun of tracks (which i am later to discover were numerous, crisscrossed snowmobile tracks). Any way, i started to pull in when suddenly my whole front end drops down about 6 to 12 inches and I'm stuck. Like not moving at all in forward or reverse! The roads were dry as a bone with no ice in sight! I now had nothing to do but swallow my pride and embarrassment and call my friends who at this point were about 5 minutes away. The outfitters Stephen, Mindy and Carissa graciously came to my rescue and we started digging out my car with snow scrappers in the 14 degree weather! That failing we eventually came up with the bright idea of praying! lol Within about 1 or 2 minutes a car comes up and the guys says he would go get his truck and pull me out!!! :) While he was getting his truck another guy that Stephen actually knew happens to show up and also happens to know a lot about cars! he helps us hook up the guys truck to my car correctly and that truck pulls me out like a loose tooth! :D Thank you God! Why do i always wait so long to ask you for help instead of just going to you in the first place!
It was very embarrassing and humbling! But i am sooooo thankful for my friends and my God That saved me from the ditch!
Of course i got lost 2 times this same night before finally making it home about 2 hours after i wanted to be! What a night!!!
There is another song that came on the radio on my way home after this mess that i thought was cool. Some of the lyrics are this...
If there is any peace
If there is any war
We must all believe
Our lives are not our own
We all belong
God has given us each other
And we will never walk alone
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (We will never walk alone)
In the shelter of each other
We will live
We will live (In the shelter)
It made me think how God has given us each other to help one another! Brothers and Sisters in Christ! I am so thankful for the Brothers and Sisters that God has blessed me with!!! Thank you Lord!!!

boring waste of time?.... only maybe

in my daily job as a lifegaurd i get the unique opportunity to sit for roughly four straight hours and simply watch people and think. its quite easy to get bored out of my mind and feel trapped in this 86 degree windowless room while i tap my toes waiting for the next lifeguard to releave me. The only thing i am aloud to do besides sit or pace is think. so i think. endlessly, randomly, quickly, slowly. I stuggle to pull some thoughts together to complete one whole picture, while other thoughts i ignore, avoid or throw out. Sometimes i find myself thinking about what to think about! yes, the fact is i think, a LOT! The real point i think is that God has finally put me in a place where i cant escape so to speak. The first month i found enough to think about on my own to distract myself. But now i am finally running out of ammo. I cant distract myself, "get busy", run away, avoid, or anything else! God has me right where He wants me and i am finally starting to listen. Yes, believe it or not lifegaurding is slowly becoming a time of sweet communion with God! How great is my God that He can so perfectly orchestrate my life to exactly what i need?! While i may not be able to delve into reading the scriptures or praying on my knees with my eyes shut or running up and down the streets proclaiming His name i can dwell on lessons He is teaching me, pray for those around me, work on devotions in my head that i am preparing to share, ect. ect. ect. My God is great indeed!!!!

Its been a while!

Wow! so its been a while, OK a long long time since i have written to you all (whoever you all are). My apologies. So much has changed in my life(if you are not up to date on the major stuff just ask me and it will be easier for me to update you verbally). In short i live at home now instead of Bair Lake Bible Camp and i now work part-time at Menards and part-time at the YMCA. (yes the YMCA song does frequent my brain rather often and yes after a month or so i have finally been able to tune out the Menards commercials that they play every 10 minutes. :) God is indeed good and has blessed me far beyond my hopes and dreams! Within a two or so month period God took away everything familiar from me, my job, future plans, friends, my own place to live, easy daily interactions with close and loved mentors, my sponsorship, and so much more. He allowed the devil to lie to me about what was happening and why, to hurt me emotionally, to confuse the life out of me, and hurt me emotionally! BUT!!! threw it all the entire time MY Heavenly Father who loves me beyond my imagination stood by me, encouraged me, answered my prayers, increased my faith, provided for me, loved me, was patient with me, put me in situations that would cause me to grow in him, kept me safe, continued to show me how wise and loving my parents really are, provided a new place for me to live(back home), provided me with three jobs so that i could actually pick which two i wanted to work!, my dream car!(a VW Jetta), opportunities to stay in touch and see my good friends and mentors, And oh sooooo much more!!!!!! MY God is Great! Awesome in Power! and Holy beyond all measure! He loves me and knows me intimately! I am in increasing awe of Him daily!
One of my great fears in moving home from an intense discipleship program was that i would lose my fervor for the Lord and not grow in the same way spiritually, that i would not be fed as well as lack personal discipline regarding spiritual matters! A legitimate fear. However i seem to be growing in the same leaps and bounds as before. Through letters from friends and mentors, personal quiet times, books i have been challenged to read, growing relationship with my parents and siblings, and time with my home church! Yes, it is a shockingly different atmosphere, but God is still using it!
It's true that life is no picnic however, i find many things daily to complain about and often to fall to this temptation, however with your and my prayers and God's grace i am determined to tackle this temptation to complain. Please pray for me is this regard as well that i would take perfect joy from where God has me now and not try to rush to the next step in life before i have made it through the current one. Thank you for your prayers! Please let me know if there is something i can pray for you about! :) Iron sharpens iron according to scripture, and brothers are to encourage one another in the Lord! How may i encourage you today?
Thank you for taking time to read this, i hope you were encouraged by a testimony of God's great goodness! :) God bless!

Good Bye Summer

Where does time really go? It's a question we all ask and then getr cought up in the fast pace of life before we ever really answer it. I don't know that i have an answer to that question, but i definatly ask that question to myself frequently. For example, this summer only seemed to be three or four weeks long, which brings me to the thought: the busier you are, the faster times flies. In that case what did I do this summer tht made time fly? Well...... there is no short answer to this question. My main jobs were programming assistent and part lifegaurd. Since lifegaurding is rather self-explanetory, I will explain the role of programming assistant. Basically I was thr right-hand woman to several of the directors this summer. I helped set up and tear down games and activities, find whatever they needed, run errands in town for camp, ect. The list goes on. However, at camp when thre's a need its all hands on deck, despite your official job description. Therefore it was not unusual for me to help out with kitchen, housekeeping, or a host of other odd jobs including counseling. I enjoyed my jobs very much; it was often fast-paced and anything but monotinous. The small amounts of freetime i was blessed to have quickly filled with hanging out with friends, sleeping, reading and swimming. I made new friends, caught up with old friends and stayed connected with old friends. I laughed. I sweated. I cried and tasted true sorrow. I was taught lessons. I was repeatedly humbled. But most of all, I grew this summer. The laughter came from the simple pleasures of life; the sweat came from hard work. The tears and sorrow came from the unexpected loss of a friend from camp, Terry Eaton. With his wife he prayed for, encouraged and displayed the love of Christ to me and my fellow outfitters. He will be missed.
The lessons God taught me, including humility, were hard and I am still a work in progress. Some things He is working on in me (that I would appreciate prayer for) are: patience, self control and not complaining. These are lessons I am sure I will be learning my whole life.
Overall it has been a hectic summer and I am quite ready for fall. I know I haven't included specific stories, but hopefully I will type a couple up soon. Thank you to those covering me in prayer. We all need the Fathers help so desperately! God Bless, Hannah.

Where did June go???

So June was gone before i hardly realized that it had come! One of my favorite times of the year and its over! sigh! However life must go on and all good things must come to an end to make room for more good things. Camp has been such a blur of activity, no exaggeration there! We had our first two weeks of camp and thus far everything is going smoothly, praise the Lord! So far this summer i have been life-guarding and programing, which is doing a lot of odd jobs around camp. It has been so great and i truly love my job this summer! God is so good to us!
Our pillars book for the summer is Perelandra by C. S. Lewis. Though i have yet to really start the book i have heard many good things and am excited to read it. There are no classes or homework for the summer which is a very welcome brake. :) We finished our Precepts class on the 15Th of June with a bang. For the last assignment we had to put together a visual and a speech for the things we had learned in the previous eighteen weeks. It was a lot of work but it summed up everything we had learned so well.
Another great fun thing in June was my 21st birthday! and it was so great thanks to all of my awesome friends and family. Thank you all it meant a lot to me! And i when i say a lot i really mean a Lot! :) On my actual birthday i was finishing lifeguard training and driving home with to fellow staffers who were wonderful and bought me an ice cream cake! My absolute favorite kind of cake! Then since training took almost the whole day my fellow outfitters took me out to Applebees and that was one of the highlights of my month!
Again i can't express how fast the summer is seeming to go by. Thank you all soooo very much for your continued prayers and support! It truly means so very much to me! God Bless!

Wow! I seriously can't believe that the month of May is gone already! It seems like just yesterday it was May 1st. As some of you may know May is my very favorite month of the year. As sad as I am to see it go though i am still thoroughly excited for June to be here as it is my second favorite month of the year. Yes summer is finally here! Campers will be arriving soon and homework and classes will be done soon for a few months.

The theme for the month of May was humility. What more can i say on this? Except that God has certainly guided the themes for the months and May has been no different. I wouldn't say that i have learned or been through anything exceptional on this subject but God has certainly been giving me many quiet reminders and subtly teaching me the ways of being humble, though i still have so far to go as humbleness is a life-long journey.

On May 16th through the 17th we(many of the staff at Bair Lake plus the outfitters) had the opportunity to travel south to visit the creation museum. We drove the six hours and spent the night at Potters Field (a local Christian camp) in a Tepee while it rained all night. That was quite the fun and memorable experience. Then the next day we got an early start and spent the whole day at the museum before returning that night to camp. It was a long day but well worth how tired it made us. At the museum we saw a planetarium that was awesome, did a walk-through a vast amount of knowledge and walked through their botanical gardens and petting zoo. My favorite part of the museum was the Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eve section. Thinking about the first marriage and family and how God had originally designed it to be. How the world began so perfect and how Heaven will be perfect as well.

Life has been busy and i fall into bed exhausted every night but life is good and i am so happy to be living and working for God every day here at Bair Lake Bible Camp. He is truly so good to me!

The theme of April was intersession, and it has been quite a month of learning. Our pillars book was, "Reese Howells, Intercessor" and it has probably been my favorite pillars book so far this year despite how convicting it has been. It is a biography of a welsh man that followed God's specific calling to the life of an intercessor and all the great things that happened in the world because he followed God. I have recently been enlightened on the difference between a prayer warrior and an intercessor. A prayer warrior can start and stop praying for things at their will, whereas an intercessor prays for what God tells them to pray for and they don't stop praying until God gives them the victory or tells them to stop. Also they often live the life of the way of the people they are interceding for. Then in a sermon i recently heard on intersession i learned how Jesus' whole life and purpose was and is interceding to the Father for us. Therefore if we are all called to live a life like Jesus then it is reasonable to say that we are all called to a life of intersession. True our life will not look like a carbon copy of Reese Howell's, but we need to be continually abiding with God and giving Him utter and complete control of our lives so that He may lead and guide us in the way He has planned for us. It is so hard to truly live like i have given God complete control of my life but it is a continual prayer of mine that i will die to self and God will live through me. This is no easy prayer as God is slowly starting to test me and teach me how to die to self.
Intersession was not the only subject in my life for the month of April though. I have also been studying a precepts course on Genesis 3-11. the last few lessons have been specifically on the serpent, sin and death, and what Jesus did to save us from the results of our sin which is death. It has been both interesting and eye-opening to match and compare scriptures all over the Bible that come together to give insight on a subject.
Also this past month i with the other outfitters had the opportunity to visit Adam Reid's (a fellow staffer and BLBC) family and the campus of CMU. We got to meet a woman that worked with campus crusade who lead a ministry that specifically reached the Greek inter-varsity groups. We went on a prayer walk down main street with all of the Greek sorority and fraternity houses. It was exciting to see and hear about a ministry that God has been working in and opening long-closed doors to.
The above has been just a small taste of my month of April. I wish i could expound more on it but that would take pages upon pages to cover. Thank you all for your prayers i have been so blessed by God in this program thus far. I am greatly looking forward to summer and am excited to see the things that God has for me in the coming months. I am praying that your summer will be as great as i am sure mine will be!

It's NOT about me!

It seems that God has been starting to open my eyes a bit more to how much i make life about me! It's sickening how much i think about myself on a daily basis! I am often thinking about what my needs are and how they will be met. I have made life about me for so long (my whole life really) that it is first nature to me. I often do it subconsciously! God has been hitting me a lot lately with the concept of dieing to self. Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24. I have been trying to picture/define what it is to deny oneself completely. What does it realistically look like in my daily life to deny myself. I recently read an example a friend wrote about when things in life get unclear we are tempted to pull out our own plans or "road maps" to follow rather than God's better plan that He has for us. So with that concept in mind, would denying myself be giving up my self-made desires, plans, schedules and dreams, and not fall back on them when God has decided to not show me the next step in front of me? Living examples of how this might look in my life are: getting up earlier to be able to have longer quiet times, giving up comforts that mask as daily essentials, possibly giving up areas of volunteer work, changing my schedule to make room for more reading of the Bible rather than socializing, not going back to college, laying life-long ministry/career desires and dreams on the alter of God and not filling the new empty space with new dreams and desires... I'm sure the list could go on. This is just my thoughts on denying myself in relation to God. I also wonder how does it look for Hannah Parcher to deny herself daily for the sake of others? Could it mean: letting my roommate keep the house the way she rearranged it because she obviously likes it that way, letting people be right and not arguing with them saying their wrong(whither they are or aren't), not altering my physical appearance simply because some of the people i love prefer me not to and because i love and respect them so much i should respect their desires and wishes, working harder or perhaps longer so that someone else won't have to do it(whatever it may be) for a change, changing my schedule so that others don't have to change theirs, letting someone else lead an area simply because they are better at the leading or just to let them lead that area for once even if i love working in that area... again the list could go on and i am still just beginning to discover what it means and looks like to die to myself on a daily basis. I simply pray that God will continue to be my great teacher in this matter. Will you pray with me on this? Thank you, and please feel free to let me now what God is currently teaching you and how i may pray for you. "But encourage one another day after day as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." Hebrews 3:13

As usual i sit down to write about my life in the last month and i am at a sudden loss as to what to say. What is so interesting in my life that people want to read about? I know there must be a lot to write but my mind draws a blank. Sure i can update you on classes, book clubs and work but i keep looking for extraordinary, crazy cool stories to tell that just aren't there. I am beginning to realize its all in how you view life. Do i see it as mundane and dry? Do i believe that God is not really doing anything that exciting and special in my life that is worthy of taking time to share with people? Do i believe that i as an individual am not really special and extraordinary as a person, someone that is just coasting through a boring and average life? Do i believe that i am NOT someone that God has picked for a crazy, full, abundant, fruitful, fast-pasted life that constantly displays the wonders and goodness of God?! MAY IT NOT BE SO! I am learning for the first time in my life to believe that i am special. That i am more than a screw-up. That God desperately loves me and has a unique, and exciting life planned for me! That when i screw up (which is a daily thing) God forgives me in more than word only. He is not looking and waiting for me to mess up so that He can punish me. He is not in a constant state of seething anger at my desperate wickedness. Although it's true that He hates my sin, He also understands that i am not perfect, that i will mess up in life, and He is so patient with me. He picks me up, brushes me off, and uses my mistake as a lesson, and brings good out of it! While writing this the song, "everything" by Lifehouse came on the playlist and i stopped a moment to listen to it. The lyrics are amazing. It says,
Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.
This song is how i should and am learning to view life and my relationship with God. He is everything to me and He sees me as special, beautiful, and His child!

February

Dear Friends and Family,
It is also official that as of March 1 I have a terrible case of spring fever. Please pray with me continually for the warm weather to come soon. It is encouraging to see the snows melting away and the robins flying around. I have also emensly enoyed waking up to the sound of birds singing again in the tree by my window. The one and only downer to this thaw is the extreme amounts of mud that exsist everywhere. However it is but a small price that I am very willing to pay for the sake of having the sun out again in all of its glorious brilliance. Yes, summer is my favorite time of the year and it is finally just around the corner! Kids are already signing up for summer camp and there is a small, low hum of ecitment beginning to fly through the air here at Bair Lake. It is steadily getting louder and more ecited! It you haven’t picked up on it yet, I am bubbling over with a contagous exhilaration for summer camp that I hope you all catch!
Another thing I have recently enjoyed was our last pillars book, Secrets of the Vine, by Bruce Wilkerson. It is a small, easy-to-read book that I finished in about two hours. Don’t let the size fool you though, its impact is far larger than its size. We were challenged to read John 15 as many times as we could while reading the book and I can’t express how much the added to each other! The book helps explain different things about grape vines and vineyards that give you a new understanding for the words Jesus spoke to His disciples in John 15. As I have all of the other pillars books we have been reading in the last several months I would also highly recommend this book.
Our outfitters February month theme was abiding. We learned in our Thursday bible study and pillars book club more about how to abide in Christ and the benefits as well as the necessity of it. It is something I am still learning to put in practice. The months are flying by faster than I know and it seems I scarcly have time to grasp the concept of one month’s theme before the next one hits me full force.
In my last newsletter I explained in depth about my year-long project that I am doing as part of my program here. I am in the process of collecting different recipes as part of that project. If you have any favorite family recipes please feel free to send them to me and maybe it will make it into my devotional. I am looking for dinner, breakfast and appetizer recipes. My email address is heparcher@yahoo.com. Thank you very much for your help in this area.
I and my fellow staff members of Bair Lake recently returned from a three day Michigan Christian camping conference in Holland, Michigan. It was so encouraging and exciting to get to know other camps and do some networking with them. I was also tremendously challenged by the guest speaker, Ron Hutchcraft. His messeges can be heard online at, www.michiganchristiancamps.com. If you have the time I would strongly encourage you to listen to them. They were excellent.
God bless,
Hannah