As usual i sit down to write about my life in the last month and i am at a sudden loss as to what to say. What is so interesting in my life that people want to read about? I know there must be a lot to write but my mind draws a blank. Sure i can update you on classes, book clubs and work but i keep looking for extraordinary, crazy cool stories to tell that just aren't there. I am beginning to realize its all in how you view life. Do i see it as mundane and dry? Do i believe that God is not really doing anything that exciting and special in my life that is worthy of taking time to share with people? Do i believe that i as an individual am not really special and extraordinary as a person, someone that is just coasting through a boring and average life? Do i believe that i am NOT someone that God has picked for a crazy, full, abundant, fruitful, fast-pasted life that constantly displays the wonders and goodness of God?! MAY IT NOT BE SO! I am learning for the first time in my life to believe that i am special. That i am more than a screw-up. That God desperately loves me and has a unique, and exciting life planned for me! That when i screw up (which is a daily thing) God forgives me in more than word only. He is not looking and waiting for me to mess up so that He can punish me. He is not in a constant state of seething anger at my desperate wickedness. Although it's true that He hates my sin, He also understands that i am not perfect, that i will mess up in life, and He is so patient with me. He picks me up, brushes me off, and uses my mistake as a lesson, and brings good out of it! While writing this the song, "everything" by Lifehouse came on the playlist and i stopped a moment to listen to it. The lyrics are amazing. It says,
Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.
This song is how i should and am learning to view life and my relationship with God. He is everything to me and He sees me as special, beautiful, and His child!