The truth is.....

The truth is a lot of things..... But of all of the things that it is, most of all it is that i am an impatient person. The truth is that i have pushed my whole life for tomorrow instead of enjoying today. I have daydreamed, fantasized, longed-for, prepared for and consumed my entire energy in what tomorrow will be. Well.... the truth is also that i am finally tired, so so very tired of missing out on today and what God has for me in this immediate season of my life. I reached the climax this last Sunday during the sermon. The funny truth of it is that i don't remember a blessed thing he said, i only remember what it triggered inside of me. And that is the great need for a drastic change. So why am i telling the whole world my confessions? Because i believe that change lasts through accountability. Because we are all made stronger through the prayers and petitions made on our behalf by our brothers and sisters in Christ. Everyone has a breaking point for everything. I have finally reached that breaking point! Does this mean that i will be perfectly patient in all things from here on out? Of course not! It means i will not feed the impatience and daydreaming. That i will make continuous hard efforts with God's help to overcome this discontentment. I am a very driven, determined person when i reach that point that drives me to be. Last summer during an unusually large amount of stress and emotional upset i felt driven to pick up smoking again. The particularly disgusting addiction i picked up the year before and had somewhat quit. However after a week or two of smoking again and despising myself for it i reached that breaking point. So with the accountability of close friends i truly quit and haven't smoked once since then even though i have been sorely tempted too many times to count. I have stayed strong for nine months now and don't plan on turning back ever. What was the difference between the first time i "quit" and the final time? That breaking point that drove me to seek God, accountability and sheer determination. All of this to say that the truth is... i see no difference between quiting smoking and quitting impatience and discontentment. Please pray that God would teach me how to be content and patient. I am finally ready to learn.