i believe that Conglomerate is the adequate word for this post :)

At long last spring has sprung from the icy, death-like grip of winter! Finally my very least two favorite months of the entire year(Feb. and march) are coming to a fast close and my very very VERY favorite two months of the whole wide year(May and June) are just around the corner!!! As always with spring comes an unexplainable excitement to the air! Anything can happen and everything is starting new and fresh! :) And flowers are almost here!!!! look out your window!!!! as i write this very moment green shoots and buds are coming out of hiding! Just think of it! in less than a month all sorts of glorious colors that only My God could design will be bursting forth!!!!! In case you cant tell I LOVE late spring and early summer!!! :) Well not wanting to save the less exciting news for the end i will squish it into the middle really quick. Please pray for me right now that God would give me wisdom for decision making and courage to take the correct action. About three years ago i fells a weird little pop when i picked up a day camper but didn't think much of it. However since then i have been experiencing increasing amounts of pain and physical limitations because of it. I have gone to a chiropractor but she was unable to help me at all and diagnosed me with minor scoliosis of the lower spine. However i have been researching my symptoms and it looks very much like i might have a bulging disc. :( Whatever the case is, I'm trying to decide if i need to get it looked at but am afraid the doctors will get carried away with many expensive tests. Also if i need a surgery for it i have no sick leave of vacation from work at all due to still working through the temp agency. In short there are many unknowns and i am just plain afraid. Please pray for God's very special wisdom and guidance in this matter. Thank you brothers and sisters :) Now back to happier things! :D I heard a wonderful sermon at church today from our guest speaker! He spoke on the book of Jonah and never have i heard a sermon or lesson or anything in witch neither Jonah nor the fish were the main topic of discussion! Instead God and how He guides His plans no matter what we do was the main topic! That we as Christians need to be faithful to whatever God calls us to and to boldly go about the work that God has for us. And what kind of testimony are we silently giving through our actions and obedience or disobedience. (I'm doing a terrible job of doing the sermon justice and properly summing it up) However it really was a fantastic and inspiring sermon! Well i think that is all the big stuff i have for you now. Nothing left but random one sentence tid-bits that i will save for personal conversations. :) Praying for you and looking forward to hearing from you all! Thanks for taking the time to read this. Have a blessed week!

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can,
but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

This song is how i feel and where i am at.
my heart is not broken it is bruised and sore. I do not fully understand the depths of this feeling or where it has arisen from. Who can fully understand the depths of a womens heart? Not even the women herself! God alone can! And it is God who will get me through whatever this is that plagues me so. I dont know if i will ever know or understand so dont ask me about this. Just pray that God would continue to teach me the things i need to learn and that i would be a teachable student. My heart is physcally sore but i will laugh again. God is indeed good! i do not say this lightly or from habit!

Its been a while...

So i used to have the problem of what to write about rather then when to write, however it seems i now always have plenty to write about but no time to write it all down. sigh... Life will always have its little problems will it not? The answer lies not with how to get rid of the problems but rather how to deal with them as they arise. hmmmm.... When and if i ever get good at following that advise i will let you all know. :)
I have now been working at Biomet for a whole month now! My goodness the time sure does pass sooo quickly! I still enjoy my work and while it's true that it is not the best job in the world nor my favorite it is a very good job and i am soooo thankful to God for graciously and lovingly providing it for me. God is good to me!
Spring is finally coming!!! I am soooo very excited for the warm weather and earlier sunrises! :) Summer is my very very favorite season of the year and finally it is just around the corner! :D As i drive to work each morning at 6:30 i always head east and am newly being greeted by the first rays of early morning light! God leaves me in rapture at His beauty displayed through creation! I think i am convinced that there is hardly anything more beautiful and energizing than a sunrise. And i am not talking about the last 10 min of it at 8 am i am talking about the dark blue night slowly fading to light blue on one side of the sky while the west is still cloaked in darkness. Then the blue turns into pinks and purple shades. Every minute the colors literally change! Then the very first rays of gold creep up from the horizon and the world begins to sparkle! The birds begin to sing and you feel as if no one else is on earth! It is just you and God! Yes, i believe that sunrise is indeed the most beautiful time of the day and the most beautiful place on earth! It is well worth getting up to see some day! Try it sometime! Get up before the crack of dawn (literally lol) and find somewhere you can simply watch it from begging to end. :) each one is different from the previous day!
Isn't life funny? One day you can be crying your eyes out feeling as if there is no way you can ever endure one more day of the task at hand and then the next you can be filled with joy and actually being an encouragement to someone else! God seems to know the perfect amount of what we need and when. He never gives us more than we can handle (even if it feels like it sometimes). My God is good and perfect! Yes, i still find myself needing to be reminded of that often.
I was recently asked the question, has outfitters effected your life and if so how? It is a question i have actually asked myself many times and already knew the answer to. In answer to the first part of the question, has outfitters effected my life i have to give a resounding Yes! In answer to the second part the answer is a bit longer. I believe that the outfitter program is what God used to build my Christian foundation for the rest of my life! yes i have been saved since a small child but i have not truly lived like it until the summer i turned 19. That summer God moved in my life and convicted my of many things, i finally listened and fully gave my life to Him for the first time. Then i went to college for a year and though i learned much i sadly slumped back a bit in my zeal for change that i had obtained that summer. There was so much about my life and the way i thought and spoke and treated people that needed to change that i was oblivious to. Then God brought me into outfitters and used that year and Trevor and Laurie Wickes and Mindy Hamilton specifically to show me many things that needed changing. But They didn't leave it at showing me what was wrong with me as so often had been the case in my life but rather how to change as well! Through example they showed me what living for God can look like! Their attitudes were infectious! I have discovered that once you taste the true goodness of living inside of God's will and favor a true obedient child of Him you don't even want to go back to the way life was before. And don't get the wrong idea, it wasn't those people themselves but God using them in my life! No i did not change overnight or even quickly for that matter. It was definitely a long process that took the whole year and is still taking place even! In the course of outfitters i was rebuked, called out on things, confronted, disciplined, prayed for, helped, lead by the hand and most of all truly loved! I was taught things of the Bible and how to study it for myself, i was given the tools to go out in the world and follow Christ on my own and seek Him personally. I was asked to define my worldview, to write out my whole testimony, to establish my faith as my own. I was not so much taught but more shown the importance of seeking God on a daily basis personally and what that does for us spiritually. In the course of a year God used the outfitters to help me establish a very personal and strong foundation on Him that will last me a lifetime! I am so thankful for such an opportunity to do that! The next question that naturally arises to my brain is what next? Now that outfitters is over for me what is next in my life? I laugh that i have only just now fully realized the answer to that question! :D Well i have a foundation so the obvious answer would be to build the house! Then of course it needs to be furnished, and landscaped....etc! God is not finished with me yet! I am excited to see what kind of house He desires to build on this foundation that He has established within my heart! :)